Saturday, March 9, 2013

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Sale...

Okay. So. The Friends of the Library .25 book sale was today. It opened at 9am, and I had a soccer player to drop off at 8 am nearby, so I waited in the parking lot for the doors to open. I had a cup of coffee before leaving the house at 7:15, and a travel mug on the way. I left the soccer fields at 8:10ish, feeling fine.

I got a great parking spot at the library, but there was already a line consisting of about 25 people at the door. Around 8:30, I had to tinkle. Not a big deal, but I knew that I would have to go directly to the ladies bathroom as soon as the doors opened in 1/2 hour.

8:40am: I feel the first gut-wrench. Not a good sign.

8:50am: I start to wonder if the Checkers Hamburgers is open. However, I do NOT want to lose my parking space.

8:55am: The first bead of cold sweat pops out on my forehead and my gut now starts making noise.

9:00am: I hear the First Baptist Church bells toll the hour and fully expect to see the line start to move. No movement. And the line now reaches across the parking lot.

9:05am: I am counting the minutes and doing my Lamaze breathing.

9:07am: Movement in the line! I know that I have just enough time to make it to the bathroom stall, so I wait until the line is almost gone before I get out of the car. Then I see a member of my book club, Rochelle. I am happy to see her, but I know that I am going to have to chat with her, which will be difficult with my teeth gritted and all of my energies routed to keeping my sphincter in line.

Rochelle has to go to the bathroom, too. That means that I have to wait a few minutes longer for a bit of privacy. Finally, alone at last, I find full and sweet relief. I reach over to the toilet paper dispenser to find that they are stocked with two rolls of empty cardboard.

I am not making this up.

So, I give a courtesy flush and wait a few minutes for the sound of the door and ask the lady for toilet paper. I'm sure she "sensed" that I needed a whole handful, and I am thankful that she was not stingy. I will have to remember this when I am next asked for toilet paper from stall-to-stall.

So ends my Bathroom Peril at the Friends of the Library sale.

Oh, and I bought 40 books.

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