Thanks to Smosh.com:
Who Pooped In The Park?
Have we run out of mysteries for teen detectives to solve? I have to admit I'm kind of obsessed with the attention to detail the illustrator took when drawing the poop pile on the cover. Not to spoil the ending, but clearly that is raccoon crap. Don't ask how I know.
Maggie Goes On A Diet
This is the story of Maggie, a chubby girl who goes on a diet, loses weight and becomes the most popular girl in school. What could possibly go wrong by sending that message to young insecure girls?
Pooh Gets Stuck
Any Winnie the Pooh related book has an awesome chance at having an inappropriate title! I mean the title alone makes it all kinds of WTF. But actually seeing a pic of Pooh being stuck in an anus-y looking hole, is the poopy icing on the turd cake. Okay, I'm poo-ed out!
Hiroshima No Pika
This is a BEAUTIFULLY illustrated book. A heart-wrenching story about a young girl dealing with the horrific aftermath of the Hiroshima nuclear bombing. Japanese kids books are HARDCORE. I feel like such a wimp for thinking the Grinch Who Stole Christmas was scary!
Who Cares About Disabled People?
I get that this book is supposed to help kids understand what being handicapped is all about. That's a good thing. But making the argument that being tall, having a special talent, eating too much and drinking are also handicaps? Uh...okay. Well, I guess drinking too much can be like a temporary handicap. Still, a hangover doesn't seem a very noble obstacle to overcome.
Don't Make Me Go Back, Mommy
This is a book about a child who doesn't wanna go back to day care. So far, so good. Because she is a victim of SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE!?! Turns out the daycare is run by a group of young witches who are torturing and molesting the children for religious reasons. Fortunately, the book includes signs for parents to look for, because apparently this is a problem that is running rampant throughout America. Yikes!
Hair In Funny Places
This books covers everything puberty. Boobs and pubes ("your mom sprouted small bosoms and hair in funny places") Menstruation ("She found a tiny drop of blood in her underpants") And Nocturnal emissions ("some sticky stuff actually came out"). If my mom had given me this book as a kid, I would have curled up into a ball and died of complete instantaneous embarrassment.
The Night Dad Went To Jail
If your dad is going to jail, I'm pretty sure a book about it isn't gonna make you feel any better. I recommend denial until you finally open up about your pain by writing a powerfully honest memoir later in life. Nothing cures childhood pain like cold hard book deal cash. I'm kind of counting on that fact